|Voice Dialogue refers to the technique and theoretical structure created by American psychologists,
teachers and authors Dr Hal Stone and Dr Sidra Stone, which allows us to experience the many selves or
energy patterns of our psyche. The technique allows us to dialogue with our inner selves,
to discover how they operate in us, how they feel, what is important to them, what they want us to do or not do,
what kinds of rules they have,
how they make us feel, what they want from us, and so on. When you experience your inner selves in this way,
when you give them a voice, as real people with real needs, you begin to understand and appreciate them -
basically you become more conscious of them.
When you become more conscious of who you have been in your life, or of which selves you have been in your life,
you can unhook from those selves (or energy patterns or parts) which have been dominant in your life,
and begin to explore their opposites. This gives you access to new ways of being, to new energy systems,
which not only gives you more inner resources to draw on, but also a bigger picture of who you are and also of life in general.
You start to see the various situations in your life from more than only one side, or from only one perspective.
By shining your awareness onto the various facets of yourself,
you ignite a process where a new space in your consciousness evolves where you can experience
your inner selves as separate from you. You literally unhook from being identified with a particular self.
The Drs Stone have named this state the Aware Ego.
Having an aware ego is a fluid state where you bring awareness to your ego,
or to who you had always thought you were.
An aware ego is what enables you to stand beside a self and experience it and also its opposite - without judging either.
The aware ego is the essence, the core, the real gift of the voice dialogue system.
No other technique that I am aware of allows you to sit in between selves and feel both, yet also not identifying with either.
It is a space of true choice and freedom, and is something which needs to be experienced to be understood.
The aware ego is also a process so we can't have an aware ego. We still need our selves in order to function.
We all have a number of inner selves which work together as our personality, or Primary Self. For example,
you might have as your primary self a Responsible self,
an Inner Critic, a Perfectionist and an Organiser. Whereas your partner might have as their primary self a Pleaser,
a Nurturing self and a Fun-loving self. We can discover the selves we would benefit from embracing from our relationships,
for chances are you will find you are in relationship with people who have as their primary selves,
selves which are opposite to yours
For although the selves we identify with do an amazing job in getting us through life,
they also push away those aspects of ourselves which they don't see as useful or which they find painful.
Thus we also have Disowned Selves, which are all those parts of us we don't want around.
But just because they are disowned doesn't mean they do not exist. On the contrary, the more deeply disowned a part of us is,
the more grief it causes us, and the more intensely it comes to us in the other people in our lives.
By doing Voice Dialogue you can learn to embrace all your selves. You don't lose your primary self,
but you gain access to more of who you are.
The ideas, feelings and energetic states which are then available to you are greater.
Your experience of life will be far richer and more fulfilling, you will be able to make more conscious decisions
rather than acting out of habit or compulsion, and you will have more self-acceptance and self-understanding.